Is That You God?

I've been in a bit of a funk lately. The job scene isn't moving. The book sits in a publisher's office w/o further word. No churches in the area are open and I can't seem to make it to the interview stage with the churches that have been open. Recently I was in Portland and ran not once but twice into people I knew and worked with when I was in politics who asked, "Gee what are you doing? all kinds of think I imagine" and I had to quickly sell baking bread and gardening as "all kinds of things" ("I'm deep into earth centered activities" I think I babbled. Yikes, I've been in Sonoma perhaps a little tooooo long. )

So, naturally enough, I take up the tradition of David & the rest of the Psalm writers and the Isrealites trudging their way across the desert and get all whiney on God. Are you there God? Do you still care? Did the call thing have an expiration date I didn't know about? Was I delusional in going to seminary (well, okay don't answer that question, I did choose SFTS so there is some damning evidence there...)? I'm to the point of being so pissed off & discouraged that this afternoon I took down the stoles I have had hanging out in my closet and put them away out of sight.

Then Bill & I go out to a chinese restaurant tonight and my fortune cookie arrives with the following message:

"Trust your intuition. The universe is guiding your life."

Isn't that just like God? Who believes fortune cookies? Its like one of those episodes on Joan of Arcadia where out of nowhere in a form least expected and in a way that leaves open the way for uncertainty - God speaks. (maybe... maybe not) I started looking toward the door for Mrs. Landingham to walk in and glance over at me in a significant way.

Nice job God. Nice sense of humor. And thanks.
I'll take the stoles back out of the bag. Not like they left my mind or my heart anyway.

sheesh.

Daffy-dills!

Oh -- how fun!! The daffy-dills are finally finally showing their beautiful happy yellow faces...the tulips are sure to follow. John Bell is here at Western this whole week, leading worship and opening my eyes, ears and heart to scripture that I have been hungering and thirsting for! Next week, Mark Yaconelli will be here for a contemplative youth seminar and I'm looking forward to reconnecting with him.

This year, I have been volunteering with Vanessa through the KIDS HOPE program. Vanessa is in the 3rd grade; we first started meeting in October and she was a wild child! Walking on tables, running and hiding from me, running and climbing on, over, under, through anything she could find. Over the past few weeks, it seems we've turned a corner. Last week, she decided it would be great fun to take everything out of my purse and examine it!?!? This week, she shared more about her family than I've heard all year while working on painting a heart on the back of my hand.

Anyway -- what's all this got to do with daffy-dills, you may ask. I think that somehow the daffodils remind me that even though I can't always see the growth, or take responsibility for the growth, or even know when those glorious yellow flowers will appear, I trust that it will happen. I have faith that it will happen. And for Vanessa, even on the days when I was chasing her down the halls of the elementary school (NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS!!!), I had faith that someday we would have days like today -- bright, warm and sunshiny, filled with the promise of spring and the gift of a new friend.

Mariners Win!

I had a great week off to celebrate my 30th with my family. I went to Seattle with my parents and we went to see the Mariners. I had hoped to get a Wilbur sign on TV - at least I got on the big screen in the stadium! It was a good week of eating, shopping, and even some time with my brother. I dreamt about church but didn't think about it during the days so that was good.

Now I am back to work and busy sorting through all that I left in my wake. Oh well, I am taking another week out of town in May to attend a confrence in Atlanta so there is another break on the near horizon. Thank God for continuing ed!

A Family Reunion...

At last, Mary has discerned that her ministry at SFTS is coming to a close. She gave notice that she will leave her employ there at the end of May, much to the dismay of many folks -- all of whom knew this was inevitable at some point in time. This will be such a blessing to us as gasoline surges past $4/gallon and we will both be spending *much* less time on I-80. It will also be quite nice to have her around EG full-time to share in all that happens here.

Her plans are to continue consulting to some of her corporate clients while she pursues Commissioned Ministry in the UCC, focusing on her experience and skills at facilitating transitions, transformations, and conflicts in the local church settings. She was taken In-Care of our congregation earlier this month and will visit our COM (think CPM in "Presbyterian-ese") in August to become a "person in discernment" for at least a year before being commissioned.

All I can say is, "Yeaaa!"