Friday, April 25, 2008

Is That You God?

I've been in a bit of a funk lately. The job scene isn't moving. The book sits in a publisher's office w/o further word. No churches in the area are open and I can't seem to make it to the interview stage with the churches that have been open. Recently I was in Portland and ran not once but twice into people I knew and worked with when I was in politics who asked, "Gee what are you doing? all kinds of think I imagine" and I had to quickly sell baking bread and gardening as "all kinds of things" ("I'm deep into earth centered activities" I think I babbled. Yikes, I've been in Sonoma perhaps a little tooooo long. )

So, naturally enough, I take up the tradition of David & the rest of the Psalm writers and the Isrealites trudging their way across the desert and get all whiney on God. Are you there God? Do you still care? Did the call thing have an expiration date I didn't know about? Was I delusional in going to seminary (well, okay don't answer that question, I did choose SFTS so there is some damning evidence there...)? I'm to the point of being so pissed off & discouraged that this afternoon I took down the stoles I have had hanging out in my closet and put them away out of sight.

Then Bill & I go out to a chinese restaurant tonight and my fortune cookie arrives with the following message:

"Trust your intuition. The universe is guiding your life."

Isn't that just like God? Who believes fortune cookies? Its like one of those episodes on Joan of Arcadia where out of nowhere in a form least expected and in a way that leaves open the way for uncertainty - God speaks. (maybe... maybe not) I started looking toward the door for Mrs. Landingham to walk in and glance over at me in a significant way.

Nice job God. Nice sense of humor. And thanks.
I'll take the stoles back out of the bag. Not like they left my mind or my heart anyway.

sheesh.

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