This is my neighbor directly across the street from us. He seems to be a perfectly nice guy, with lots of friends and family in the neighborhood - all of whom seem to drive large, diesel powered trucks and SUV and who seem to have a need to stop and idle for up to an hour in the middle of the street while talking about - well whatever they talk about.
In addition to the bright red powerboat, he also owns a large RV, about as big as a local delivery truck. The normal other car in the drive way is also a pure white SUV. He has recently added about 2 or 3 little four wheel dirt bikes or something and lately I'm noticing a motorcycle running around the front. Furthermore, in spite of there being a major water shortage and daily urging to do the right thing, this man has suddenly produced a gas powered water washing thing so he can keep all his toys very pretty. If we run out of gas in this world early, I'm sorely tempted to hold this man personally responsible.
But it would hardly be fair because look at the rest of the Stepford-Wife Subdivision:
My neighbor to the left - count the SUVs
A view down the street: all suv and/or who-the-hell-needs-a-muffler-american-pick-ups. I should have taken a pix in the evening when everyone was home. There are RV and boats and motorcycles galore. My neighbor on the other side has two SUV - and the middle son has recently acquired one of those damn lawn mower powered scooter things which he enjoys riding up and down the street, helmet be damned.Has anyone in this neighborhood heard about global warming?
What the heck are they going to do when the oil runs out?
And why does this bug me so much?
Always a good question to ask, in spite of its deep annoying call to self-examination. Its much more fun when its someone else's fault but I've been reading the line about splinters vs logs way too long to not do this.
1) I'm still pretty isolated. I work out of the home and I don't get out much. Its been tough to identify groups that I might get involved with and I use the family as an excuse not to try too much. I did attempt to attend a local evening Jazzercise class but after a year of showing up and not having folks talk to me it was getting rather dreary. The core group had been working out together for nearly 20 years so I could hardly blame them. It just that there I was, still lonely, when standing around in a group of 30 women. Also I was irritating my shoulder rotator cuff and when I went to see an orthopedist he started sharpening up the surgery blades and I'm sooo very against extra holes in my body that I decided that maybe I should pursue another form of exercise instead. Plus, it was a class that meet at 6 pm, tough on family dinner when the boys were around and hard to show up for cuz other events in my life rolled through so I'd pay but not go and that seemed stupid.
But how stupid is it to sit here at my desk and not do anything at all?
2) I don't know my neighbors. I'm pretty sure they do not deserve my judgment. They are just people trying to get by in this world. I'm pretty sure I'm using this as a way to protect myself from - what? My own demons of negativity? I should get out more. I should practice humility. These people deserve mercy, God's love, Christ's reconciling presence. Who the hell am I to be tossing these stones?
Maybe its eating me - my own insecurities about if I'm good enough, if I'm ever going to be ordained, my own decisions that seem decent enough at the time but now, here are the consequences and maybe I was stupid or afraid or selfish or something. So I want to resist being where I am.
A couple of weeks ago I was informed that Covenant Network is downsizing which means: me. This wasn't news actually. I could see it coming from a long way off and I was frustrated that no one else could. And its not like I wanted to be with CovNet forever - its just that I have no idea about what comes next or when. I've recently had cause to encounter written and verbal affirmations of my call to ministry which make this unfulfilled ache within ever more intense. (I can only begin to imagine how this must feel to our brothers and sisters who face significant barriers to ordination)
Ah well.
God is good.
God does not abandon.
If this is where I am to be, then help me, O Lord, to see what needs to be done here
If this is not where I am to remain, O Lord, then help me to see where it is I should go
2 comments:
How liturgically correct to bring up the question this week, "Who is my neighbor?" While the folks who have good friends and families, along with nice homes in the north of Santa Rosa complete with trucks, boats, RVs, 4-wheelers, and more uses for oil than the average Texan, they might just be missing one important facet of life that gives true meaning.
It would be interesting to engage them in a conversation about their faith and beliefs. They may have a church, or their claim to a spiritual life might simply be tear-assing their boat around Lake Sonoma on Sunday morning. And...they might be ready for something like a home-church in the neighborhood with emergent worship and a strong sense of local community. Who knows? Do we need to be beaten, robbed, and left half-dead before we qualify for the hand of mercy?
Who is our neighbor?
I'm sorry to hear about CovNet. I was just about to ask you if you were going to go to Montreat for the CovNet conference coming up.
Would life still be as interesting if we all got our first dream call right out of seminary? Sometimes I wished I was the type of Christian who believed God did everything for me and I didn't have to do anything for myself, like if I just pray hard enough I'll get that coveted parking space near the mall and life will figure itself out without my input, because God is controlling me and the world like a puppet. I wish I was that much of a literalist, life would be easier?
Unfortunately and fortunately I don't think I live in that sort of world, so we keep plugging at it, losing and gaining. Trying to save the world from each of our corners, never giving up, but sometimes tired. In need of a neighbor. Just to let you know I'm thinking about you, and your neighbors. Maybe your neighbors should meet mine, especially the one who has an RV that blocks out the sun.
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